a tribute to my late wife Barbara Hartley Seltzer (Feb.
20, 1950 - Dec. 4, 2012)
from the scattered notes she left behind
Snippets of writing and slogans that Barb saved and
displayed everywhere. She may have written some of these
herself.
The Mayonnaise Jar
undated, author unknown
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise
jar... and the coffee...
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some
items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf
balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed
that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open
areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if
the jar was full. They
agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it
into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He
asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a
unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under
the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I
want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf
balls the the important things -- your God, family, your children,
your health, your friends, and your favorite passions -- things
that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life
would still be full. The
pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your
house, and your car. The sand is everything else -- the small
stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued,
"there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes
for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small
stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important
to you. Pay attention
to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical
checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There
will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really
matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the
coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to
show you that no matter how full
your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of
cups of coffee with a friend."
Irish Blessing
undated, author unknown
May there always be work for your hands to do.
May your purse always hold a coin of two.
May the sun always shine on your window pane.
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
Always a Sister...
someone who cares for you
and about you,
someone whose help you value,
concern you appreciate,
love you depend upon.
Always a Friend...
someone to laugh with
and share things with,
someone you can count on
to help you out,
back you up,
and never let you down.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
Who am I
What have I done?
Where am I going?
How will I get there?
"If you don't know where you want to go, you'll likely end
up nowhere."
"You need to be able to articulate the kind of position
you are looking for and describe the value you would bring to it."
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
The only person who is with us our entire life, is
ourselves. Live while you are alive.
Dream Spirit (from a "dream catcher")
undated, author unknown
Native American Believe dreams are messages sent to you
from sacred spirits. Bad dreams are caught and held by the web
until they disappear in the morning sun. Good dreams find their
way through the hoop and into the life of the dreamer. Dream
Catchers are believed to bless the "sleeping one" with pleasant
dreams, good luck and harmony throughout their lives.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
To be the person you meant to be you need to grow up.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
Do people write books to find out who they are, or to
become someone else?
Title Unknown
undated, by Hodding Carter
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give
our children.
One of these is roots, the other, wings.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
If you don't act, you forfeit your right to live.
Old Irish Greeting
undated, author unknown
These things I warmly wish for you --
someone to love,
some work to do,
a bit of sun,
and a bit of cheer
and a guardian angel
always near.
Title Unknown
undated, by Charles M. Schulz (who wrote the Peanuts
cartoon strip)
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I
gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than
one night."
Dilbert's Rules of Order
undated, author unknown
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your
day. Tomorrow is not looking god either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the wooshing sound
they make as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get
along without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days
the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he
isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him
again.
6. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception
problem.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the
sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
8. My reality check bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the
escape key.
10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their
level, then beat you with experience.
12. Don't be irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
13. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get
done.
The 10 Commandments of Health
undated, by George W. Calver
Eat wisely
Drink plentifully (of water)
Eliminate thoroughly
Bathe cleanly
Exercise rationally
Accept inevitables (don't worry)
Play enthusiastically
Relax Completely
Sleep sufficiently
Check up occasionally
P.S. Give 5%
of your time to keeping well. You won't have to give 100% getting
over being sick.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
I thought I worked my butt off at work,
but followed me home.
Points to Ponder
undated, author unknown
The best gifts to give:
To your friends -- loyalty
To your enemies -- forgiveness
To your boss -- service
To a child -- a good example
To your parents -- gratitude and devotion
To your mate -- love and faithfulness
To all men and women -- charity
Title Unknown
undated, by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Finish each day and be done with it
You have done what you could
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in
Forget them as soon as you can
Tomorrow is a new day
You shall begin it well and serenely.
Welcome to My Planet
undated, by Shannon Olson
Your father always felt that tomorrow would be better.
Tomorrow would be a better day. That everything he couldn't be and
do today would magically happen tomorrow. The thing he has never
understood is that you have to make those changes, you have to
take steps to change things, or the next day will be the same with
all the weight of the day before on top of it.
Kersh
undated, apparently a tag from a piece of clothing
Love more.
I dare you.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
Children must come to know that learning is inside them,
to be elicited and released. It's not something to be given to
them, but something they discover through their own internal
processes.
Sic Vita
September 21, 2006, by Muriel Thumm
It's funny what sticks with me
of what I've received. It's
what I make of it
hat becomes my truth:
Paradise Lost and Paradise Found
became in the child's words
a story about losing and finding
a pair of dice and becomes my mantra
when I review what I thought was worth-
while in my life is no more
than a pair of dice
swiftly tossed.
RCP
April 11, 2007, by Muriel Thumm
That he died is not important.
He did that only once.
That he lived is everything.
He did that every day.
Yesterday Today Tomorrow
undated, author unknown
There are two days in every week about which we should not
worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and
apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday with its mistakes and
cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has
passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world
cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we
performed, we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is
gone.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with
its possible adversaries, its burdens, its large promise and per
performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a
mask of clouds -- but it will rise. Until it does we have no stake
in Tomorrow for it is as yet unborn.
This leaves only one day... Today. Any man can fight the
battle of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens
of those two awful eternities -- Yesterday and Tomorrow -- that we
break down.
It is not the experience of Today that dries men mad, it
is remorse of bitterness for something which happened Yesterday
and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore, Live one day at a time!
(handwritten note at the end -- Remember when yesterday
was tomorrow?)
An Irish Blessing
undated, author unknown
May you live as long as you want
and
Never want as long as you live.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
I live in my own little world,
but it's okay,
everyone knows me here.
My idea of housework is to sweep
the room with a glance.
If I Had My Life To Live Over
undated, by Erma Bombeck
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the
carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the good living rom and
worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a
fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather
ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up
on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose
before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not
worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching
television and more while watching life.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of
pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I wasn't
there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was
practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a
lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have
cherished every moment realizing that the wonderment growing
inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have
said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm
sorry's".
But mostly, given another shot a life, I would seize every
minute... look at it and really see it... live it... and never
give it back.
The Woodpecker Might Have to Go!
undated, author unknown, sent to her by Arlene Francoeur,
October 25, 2004
Everything I need to know about life, I learned from
Noah's Ark.
One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the
Ark.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask
you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to the critics; just get on with the
job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground.
Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on
board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic
by professionals.
Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God,
there's always a rainbow waiting.
Every Woman
undated, author unknown, sent to her May 17, 2000 by Susan
Chiumiento
Every Woman Should Have
...one old love she can imagine
going back to... and one who reminds
her how far she has come...
...enough money within her
control to move out and rent a place
of her own even if she never wants
to and needs to...
...something perfect to wear if
the employer or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...
...a youth she's content to leave behind...
...a past juicy enough that
she's looking forward to retelling it
in her old age...
...the realization that she is actually going to have an
old age
and some money set aside to fund it...
...a set of screwdrivers, a
cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
...one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who
lets her
cry...
...a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone else
in her family...
...eight matching plates, wine
glasses with stems, and a recipe
for a meal that will make her
guests feel honored...
...a resume that is not even
slightest bit padded...
...a feeling of control over her destiny...
Every Woman Should Know...
...how to fall in love without
losing herself...
...how to quit a job, break up
with a lover, and confront a friend
without ruining the friendship...
...when to try harder... and
when to walk away...
...how to have a good time at a
party she'd never choose to attend...
...how to ask for waht she wants in a way that makes it
most
likely she'll get it....
...that she can't change the length of her calves, the
width of
her hips,or the nature of her
parents...
...that her childhood may not
have been perfect... bit its over...
...what she would and wuldn't
do for love or more...
...how to live alone... even if
she doesn't like it...
...whom she can trust,whom she
can't, and why she shouldn't take
it personally...
...where to go... be it to her
best friend's kitchen table... or a
charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
...what she can and can't
accomplish in a day... a month... and
a year...
I Believe!
undated, author unknown
I believe -- That just because two people ague, it doesn't
mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't
argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
I believe -- That we don't have to change friends if we
understand that friends change.
I believe -- That no matter how good a friend is, they're
going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them
for that.
I believe -- That true friendship continues to grow, even
over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I believe -- That you can do something in an instant that
will give you heartache for life.
I believe -- That it's taking me a long time to become the
person I want to be.
I believe -- That you should always leave loved ones with
loving words. It may
be the last time you see them.
I believe -- That you can keep going long after you think
you can't
I believe -- That we are responsible for what we do, no
matter how we feel.
I believe -- That either you control your attitude or it
controls you.
I believe -- That heroes are the people who do what has to
be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe -- That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe -- That my best friend and I can do anything or
nothing and have the best time.
I believe -- That sometimes the people you expect to kick
you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe -- That sometimes when I'm angry I have the
right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe -- That maturity ahs more to do with what types
of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and
less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe -- That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by
others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe -- That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe -- That our background and circumstances may
have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we
become.
I believe -- That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a
secret. It could change your life forever.
I believe -- two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I believe -- That your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you.
I believe -- That even when you think you have no more to
give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to
help.
I believe -- That credential on the wall do not make you a
decent human being.
I believe - That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
How to Stay Young
undated, by George Carlin
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age,
weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why
you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is
the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for
breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only
person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Be alive while
you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's
family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your
home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it
is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get
help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the
next county, to a foreign country, but not to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every
opportunity.
And always remember:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
If you don't send this to at least 8 people... who gives a
shit??
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before
the cock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill
today. I am important.
My job is to choose what kind of a day I am going to have.
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can
be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can
be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wifely
and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that
I am alive.
Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me
when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me
to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can
celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly
embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can
shout for joy because I have a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school or
eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of
knowledge.
Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do
housework or I can feel honored because the universe has provided
shelter for my mind, bod and soul.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And
here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.
What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what
kind of day I will
have!
What kind of day will you have?
My "Operator's Manual"
undated, author unknown
To help people understand and recover from a stroke, I
constructed the following guidelines. Then, I had an epiphany:
Dealing with a stroke -- dealing with any ailment or misfortune --
is no different than the way we all should live our lives.
When things go bad, always remember it could be worse.
Never, never give up. Keep working on your speech -- and
on your life.
Never lose your sense of humor. Laugh at yourself, laugh
with others.
Stem depression by thinking of, reaching out to and
helping others.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Pray, not for God to cure you but to help you help
yourself.
The Trouble Tree
undated, author unknown
I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and
after he had just finished a rough first day on the job, a flat
tire made him lose an hour of work and his electric drill quit,
his ancient one ton truck refused to start. As I drove him home,
he sat in stony silence.
On arriving he invited me in to meet his family. As we
walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree,
touching the tips of the branches with both hands. Upon opening
the door he had undergone an amazing transformation. His tanned
face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children
and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and
my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had
seen him do at the little tree.
"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't
help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those
troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children.
So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home
and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them
up again. Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the
morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember
hanging up the night before.
For Better or Worse
undated, comic strip by Lynn Johnston
There are four people in my family, Annie. Why is it that
nobody can put out a new roll of toilet paper? Why doesn't anybody
toss out the empty shampoo bottles? Why doesn't anybody ever fill
the saltshakers? Wipe out the dog's dish? Empty the dishwasher?!!
Why don't they care?!!
Because... you do.
If I Knew
undated, author unknown
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today maybe the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant
someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," Thank you," or It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
You'll have no regrets about today.
Dear Lord
undated, author unknown
So far today, I am doing all right.
I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grump, nasty, selfish, or
self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed, or eaten
any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card.
But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think
that I will really need your help then.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
May today there be peace within you. May you trust God
that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to
our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never
liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the
eyesight to tell the difference.
Live Each Day to the Fullest
undated, by S. H. Payer
Live each day to the fullest. Get the most from each hour,
each day, and each age of your life. Then you can look forward
with confidence, and back without regrets.
Be yourself -- but be your best self. Dare to be different
and to follow your own star.
And don't be afraid to be happy. Enjoy what is beautiful.
Love with all your heart and soul. Believe that those you love,
love you.
Forget what you have done for your friends, and remember
what they have done for you. Disregard what the world owes you,
and concentrate on what you owe the world.
When you are faced with a decision, make that decision as
wifely as possible -- then forget it. The moment of absolute
certainty never arrives.
And above all, remember that God helps those who help
themselves. Act as if everything depended upon you, and pray as if
everything depended upon God.
Instructions for Life
undated, author unknown
1. Take into account that great love and great
achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R's:
Respect for self,
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a
wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate
steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your
values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older
and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for
your life. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the
current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve
immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which
your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order
to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what
you have to do." Epictetus
Mission Statement:
Why does our family exist?
What are we trying to accomplish?
What do we stand for? What do we as a family believe in?
What is our basic approach to achieving our purpose?
What is the overarching purpose I has as a Family Manager?
What would I like the family to say about me when I'm
gone?
What is really important to me?
Title Unknown
undated, by W. Edwards Deming
If you always do what you've always done, You'll always
get what you always got.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone
else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the
results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others'
opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have
the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow
already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is
secondary.
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
When God closes a door
He opens a window.
Look for it!
Title Unknown
undated, author unknown
No one can go back and make a brand new start
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.