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Six-Word Stories by Richard Seltzer

prompted by images posted on Twitter by @AgathaChocolats

(daily, starting February 13, 2020)

5/1

"Pasta" is my penne name.

I want dollar pasta, not penny.

I'm addicted to pot.

I'm stove pigeon, not stool pigeon

Beak for yourself, John

4/30

Let me think outside the box!

Tell Schrodinger I'm alive.

The paws that refreshes.

I'm not Siamese if you please.

Stay back six feet!

I'm your Halloween present.

4/29

My ears flopped on Broadway.

To beagle or not to beagle ...

Don't dare! I'm a werebeagle.

I admit it. I'm Santa Claws.

I won't lend you my ears.

I'm good cop. got the the collar.

Nobody nose the trouble ...

The beagle has landed.

Do microphones have microbes?

How much is that doggie?

But no one knows I'm a dog.

My mistress's voice.

4/28

Trust him, I get trust fund?

Social distancing, the hard way.

anything to get away from him!

She wanted to be a Rockette.

4/27

Post pandemic, the world is all ours.

Snail! Snail! The gang's all here.

The world is flat. Beleaf me.

Junior, keep that mask on.

Do those tentacles tickle?

What a rush! Do Daddy! Go!

On their way to a snail parlor.

We shell overcome.

Nothing can stop the snailmail.

4/26

The future normal -- coronavirus-immune guards.

4/25

I'm mulish on America.

I'm opening restaurant chain -- Donkey Donuts.

The and Witch gave me this.

I'm Donkey Kong, sandbox king.

4/24

Thanks, Bruno. You make pandemics bearable.

At Christmas, let's Saint Nick picnic.

4//23

Time, tide wait for no vacuumer.

Under sand you find true undersanding.

I'm a time traveler from 1950s.

Life sucks, even at the beach.

Vacations are for vacuuming.

Why comb a beach?

4/22/2020

I'm confused. Horton hears Dr. Who?

Who took all the phonebooths?

4/21/2020

Cabin fever made me do it.

4/20/2020

Mirror, who's the ugliest of all?

4/19/2020

I am the Kraken!

4/18/2020

Cu-cumberbuns.

4/17/2020

Beak for yourself, John.
Believe you? I wasn't born yesterday.
Now that's a cheep helmet.

4/18/2020

Your mother is a bitch!
Pig with a dirty mind? Yikes!
Por que? Miss Piggy.

4/19/2020

"Nuts!"

April 14, 2020

Don't believe him. That's bull.

April 13, 2020

Trump's urine sample. Cocaine, marijuana, heroin.
Diet Mountain Dew. 2018 vintage.

April 12, 2020

Nonsense. Jimmy Stewart doesn't exist.
Keep your distance. I'm rabid.
I'm not here. Are you?
Do you dance the puka?

April 11, 2020

All a clone on Easter Sunday.
Freud's Easter -- egg, super egg, idiot.
An Easter nun in her rabbit.
Someone's in the kitchen with Dino.

April 10, 2020

This dress is cheep cheep cheep.
Do you think this is too tutu?

April 9, 2020

It's dye-it time.
A hare with purple hair -- sexy.

April 8, 2020

Pray for me. I am cat-o-lick.
Take me to your reader.

April 7, 2020

In next incarnation, I'll be rabbi.
Under this disguise, I'm Playboy Bunny.

April 6, 2020

I’d say something, but I’m horse.

April 5, 2020

We shell overcome.
Freud says I have a super-eggo.
Two dozen eggs, over easy, please.
I'm just the egg sitter.
Which came first? Cat or eggs?
These are all mine, litterally mine.

April 4, 2020

Can't catch me! I'm butterfly man!

April 3, 2020

Rocky? Too much social distance

April 2, 2020

Wrong number. Bunny. Not phone sex.

April 1

Raggedy Anne did it to me!
Just learning the ropes.

March 31, 2020

The shelfish bear ate shell fish.

March 30, 2020

I am Bastet, Egyptian cat goddess.
My flying carpet ran out of gas.

March 29, 2020

Spiderman 8. World's greatest videogame.

March 28, 2020

Cup cake of tea, please, sir.

March 27

I was born with that yarmulke.

Monk? I'm no monk. No celibacy.

March 26, 2020

They elected him? Humans are crazy!

Humans doing it doggy-style!

March 25, 2020

Who took the toilet paper?

March 24, 2020

A true connoisseur, a fine licker.

March 24, 2020

Beware. A blind Venetian cat watches.

March 23, 2020

You're my playboy bunny. Period!

March 22, 2020

There's no such thing as coronavirus.

March 21, 2020

This is my social distancing look.

March 20, 2020

Wow! What a view!

March 18, 2020

We don't do windows.
Duck of Earl, Earl, Earl
The duck stops here.

March 17, 2020

NHL star celebrating hat trick.
Foxy lady.

March 16, 2020

Want to hit the bottle, babe?
Anyone but Trump.
The answer is 43.
Whine not?
To bm or not to bm...

March 14, 2020

My name is Sir Pies.
Humans! Can't trust them. Why bake?
I'm berry happy, thank you.

March 13, 2020

These monks aren't celebate.

March 12, 2020

Winner of the Cat Ass Trophe.
Wipe out!
I'm on a roll!
Thanks for pottytraining. This is fun.
I love paper view. Great movies.

March 11, 2020

Cheating. He'll never win hoola hoop.
Too small. Needs 6-foot coronavirus radius.

March 10, 2020

Where's Piglet when you need him?

March 9, 2020

Coronavirus, beware! I'll crush you.
My pet medicineball keeps me healthy.
This turd'll win at state fair.

March 8, 2020

Sorry. This room is octopied.
Drunk dogs dream pink octopi.
We all live in a yellow submarine...

March 7, 2020

I'm great doctor, not a quack!

March 6, 2020

Are you bipolar?
Where did you buy that furcoat?
Slow down. We bearly know one another.
Ah! You tango divinely.

March 5, 2020

For goodness snake! It's alive!

March 4, 2020

Give that dog a hand.
Patience. I'll pluck out the tonsils

March 3, 2020

Love her. Her ring too expensive.

March 2, 2020

His only words are goos.

March 1, 2020

Trump in White House, with a pen.

February 29, 2020

Is that Captain Kirk's star log?
I'm feeling rather sluggish.
Is that a pre-existing condition?
Do you have dental insurance?
Swear to tell the whole tooth
Smooth snailing ahead

February 28, 2020